Sparrow on the Balcony Railing
Poetry | Carolyne Van Der Meer | Issue 46
Sparrow on the Balcony Railing
Stuck flapping chaotically when I gently pulled him from the sticky mess Held him warm soft I placed him in a white flower box filled with dead stems dry soil could then wash my hands before reaching a shelter finding it was bird repellent should be called bird killer I had only faint hope this sparrow would survive given my twenty minutes trying to rid my hands of that gummy mess I called the SPCA wildlife line Trying my best When I left the sink my hosts told me the bird was gone But then I saw him flapping uncomprehendingly went out picked him up again wanting to set him in place wanting to cover him He was frantic with gluey wings spilled over the railing gone Once again I washed my sticky fingers thinking of the bird maybe laying broken eight storeys down my chance of finding him unlikely I had not succeeded in saving the sparrow not succeeded in giving him a good death It made me wonder about the word repellent and the viscosity of meaning
Carolyne Van Der Meer is a Montreal journalist, public relations professional and university lecturer. Her articles, essays, short stories and poems have been published internationally. Her five published books are: Motherlode: A Mosaic of Dutch Wartime Experience (WLUP, 2014); Journeywoman (Inanna, 2017); Heart of Goodness: The Life of Marguerite Bourgeoys in 30 Poems | Du Coeur à l’âme : La vie de Marguerite Bourgeoys en 30 poèmes (Guernica Editions, 2020); Sensorial (Inanna, 2022) and All This As I Stand By (Ekstasis Editions, 2024). Chapbook publications include One Week’s Worth but a Lifetime More (Local Gems Press, 2022) and Broken Pieces: Hospital Experiences (2023); Birdology is forthcoming from Cactus Press in May 2025.
Birdology by Carolyne Van Der Meer Cactus Press, 2025
Carolyne Van Der Meer’s chapbook Birdology is an exploration of loss of memory, of autonomy—and ultimately of the loved ones themselves. Against a backdrop of urban and natural environments filled with everyday birds, she considers how our relationships with our parents evolve as they age, need us more—and eventually leave us. Through a quintet of flash essays and a handful of poems, Van Der Meer moves through what she calls the “spell of grief,” accompanied by flocks of gulls, house sparrows and rock pigeons.
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