Niloufar-Lily Soltani | Issue 32
She could not know the direction to the prison, but those tall trees and birds nesting in them could see the path to that fort of pains for decades—they stood tall and remained silent.
Excerpt from Zulaikha
Her cellmates told her she should not expect to leave the prison on her own on the release day. “No car is allowed on the premises and no one can know what this place looks like from the outside. “They will take you to Luna Park and leave you there.”
She did not believe this story until it happened.
She sat with Sister Matlab in the back of a car who only allowed her to remove her blindfold once they approached the park. They dropped her off, and as she got out of the car, the woman guard said, “I beg for your prayers.”
Zulaikha couldn’t believe what she had heard. She turned back and whispered, “Likewise.”
Birds were singing, and as she walked along the road, she looked up and saw two crows flying after each other. All the beauty of nature, tall willow trees, and soft blue sky seemed ignorant to her plight. How could this beautiful park, with its trees and birds, bear the secrets of the damned fort on top of the hill? She could not know the direction to the prison, but those tall trees and birds nesting in them could see the path to that fort of pains for decades—they stood tall and remained silent. What could they do? Trees burn and birds migrate, leaving those young men and women without hope, without the sounds of laughter and birdsong. That park was the end of all the worldly beauty. After one passed Luna Park, it was crossing a borderline to darkness and hatred.
***
Zulaikha had been in Evin for almost three months. Eleven- year-old Sohrab and his close friend Reza were waiting for her in front of a car outside Luna Park. She recognized Abdul’s taxi. She hugged both Sohrab and Reza. Abdul got out and said hello, walked toward her with his limping long legs and opened the car door humbly. She did not expect him to be there. She noticed all three of them were dressed nicely as though they had come to pick her up from a trip. Abdul was wearing a green shirt and was clean shaven. This man was good to her. But Assef was still there in front of her and in her dreams. She blamed Sohrab for his resemblance to his father as though it had blinded her from seeing Abdul the way he deserved to be seen. She beamed at Abdul.
Suddenly she felt an itch on her scalp. Her black chador was adding to her discomfort. She wanted to scratch her hair, but not in front of the boys. She needed to wash her hair with good shampoo when she got home. The last time she and her prison mates could take a shower was five days ago, when one of the girls had shouted, “Water is warm, ladies.”
“You all look so nice,” she said. “Look at me. I’m a mess.”
All three of them said “no” simultaneously. Their voices screamed their sincere attempt to convince her that things would be alright.
She glanced at Sohrab and Reza and observed a bond between them. Reza was the kind of close friend she had wished for her son for a long time.
***
She stayed in the dormitory sick and useless for a few days. She wrote to Aliah:
I dreamed about you last night. I want to sleep all day and dream about my awful life in freedom. The things that happened to me in the past year have been more horrific than my nightmares…
As her gaze settled on her words, she hesitated briefly, then tore the page apart. A minute later, she commenced anew, the words echoing the same sentiment as before.
A knock on her door provided a timely diversion.
Her first visitors were Abdul and his mother. They brought her a big pack of pastries and flowers. Other neighbours came afterward as if supporting her return was their duty. When they asked her what happened in Evin she refused to share any details. Talking about it would bring back the moments she wanted to leave behind.
A week later, she had had enough of useless days. She asked Abdul if he would give her a ride to a couple of the addresses she got from the prison mates. In one day, they went to two houses. Abdul parked outside and waited for her. She went inside for a few minutes, told them that their daughters were fine, prison food was not that bad, and a bunch of other lies. She carried a list of the items they needed or gave them small notes the girls had written on paper.
One night she dreamed of a long passionate kiss. This time it was Abdul’s. Thankfully, Assef was fading from her mind. Abdul’s kiss and touch liberated her from a man who never belonged to her. With Abdul, she discovered a new woman rising inside of her, as though the pain she had endured since the war had given birth to another Zulaikha, one who had been living there inside of her for a long time, quietly hidden, and who could now rise up and speak. The shyness of her youth was gone—she now demanded more and commanded her young lover. But why was she crying? Where were those tears coming from, at the climax of her pleasure? She did not understand. She only knew that this pleasure, this satisfaction, would not fill the emptiness of what she had lost. The tears, the urge for crying, came from losing dignity, from the humiliation and fear of returning to that same place where she had no control, no power.
Niloufar-Lily Soltani is a fiction writer, poet, and translator based in Vancouver. She is a graduate of the Humber College creative writing program. Zulaikha is her debut novel.
Zulaikha by Niloufar-Lily Soltani Innana Publications, 2023
In the winter of 2007, returning home from visiting her son in Amsterdam, Zulaikha accidentally runs into Kia, a family friend she hasn’t seen for many years. Kia’s father has passed away and he is flying home to attend his funeral. In a shocking twist, Zulaikha suspects that Kia may have had information about Zulaikha’s missing brother, Hessam, who disappeared shortly following the murder of their mutual friend, Abbass, during the Iran–Iraq War.
When the flight is suddenly cancelled, Zulaikha is taken into custody and questioned about her relationship with Kia by the European airport security. A day later, in Tehran, the Iranian authorities have their own agenda for intimidating her. A tense thriller explores the impacts of war and oppression through a sprawling, tender, imperfect love story, scored with the notes of the Arabic and Persian music and poetry that grace so many Middle Eastern lives.
This sweeping novel explores many timely topics, including oppression, women’s rights, class, race, and interracial marriage. It also sheds light on the tumultuous history of Iran from a new perspective. The novel reveals a forty-year period of upheaval in Iran, specifically in Zulaikha’s home, Khuzestan province, which boasts the bulk of Iran’s oil reserves—a place of intense tension between Iran and the U.S. still today.
“Zulaikha is an often suspenseful and always emotionally striking account of the inescapable reach of a violent history, and the grip that political realities have over personal truths.”
– Naben Ruthnum, author of Find You in The Dark and Your Life is Mine
“A hauntingly moving and brilliant book that paints a portrait of longing, heartache, love and hope. Zulaikha is an ambitious and powerful debut novel from a brave new voice bringing attention to the politics in Iran and how lives are affected, especially the lives of women. With sensitivity, Niloufar-Lily Soltani weaves a tale of courage, betrayal, and forgiveness. Fast-paced and well-written, this story captures you from its first page and carries you along like the achingly beautiful notes of the oud.”
– Sonia Saikaley, author of The Allspice Bath
Support Send My Love to Anyone
Support Send My Love to Anyone by signing up for a monthly or yearly subscription, liking this post, or sharing it!
Big heartfelt thanks to all of the subscribers and contributors who make this project possible!
Connect
Bluesky | Instagram | Archive | Contributors | Subscribe | About SMLTA