A river, some rocks. And Trees

One of these days we'll both be fine.

One of these days we’ll both be fine

A river, some rocks. And Trees.

Lately I’ve been wearing my gym clothes to the hospital to visit my mother (who is awaiting a long-term care bed) so that I can do my jog-walk on the way home.

I’ve been jog-walking since February using the Couch to 5K app. As someone with asthma and a bad back, I have to go slow, but I’m gradually gradually increasing my lung capacity. I’ve discovered that I like running and consider it my new hobby.

Even my health app has noticed the change, and I’ve gone from a Below Average V02 to Above Average. I have no idea what that means, but I’m considering it good since only two years ago my asthma was so bad I could hardly mount a flight of stairs without gasping.

*

My close friend Michael V. Smith asked me at the beginning of my mother’s hospital admission, if I am “keeping it together and finding joy?”

My answer at the time was blunt, “Not particularly.”

He said that his husband always says about a hard time, “How could you make this moment 5% better?”

Something about the 5% better struck a cord with me the way “expressing gratitude” or “self-care” never have, and I immediately started looking for ways for this very difficult moment to be 5% better.

Sometimes it was ordering a coffee I liked or giving myself permission to eat prepared food from the supermarket and not worry about food poisoning or sleeping in later or taking a day off or playing a silly game with my mother or jog-walking to the hospital or even writing this series.

And you know what? It worked.

Making things 5% better day after day started to make this whole terrible time easier to deal with.

*

Joy is something I’ve always had trouble with.

I’m so grumpy about the world and its many evils, I find it difficult to let myself experience joy.

But in trying to make life 5% better for myself, I’ve been able to find little moments here and there where I feel lighter. I can’t quite bring myself to call it joy but whatever feeling this is—it is the opposite of feeling completely terrible.

These little moments might be when my mother is having a good day and says something hilarious or something I see when I’m not at the hospital like this photo of the Deshkan Ziibi¹ in London, Ontario that I snapped on the way home because I liked the way the shimmer of the water looked against the dry rock and trees.

Pretty.

Deshkan Ziibi (Antler River) London, Ontario, Kathryn Mockler, 2025

What are the ways you make your situation 5% better?

Read more from One of these days we’ll both be fine

Kathryn Mockler is the author of Anecdotes.

---

Consider donating to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund.

---

Support Send My Love to Anyone

Support Send My Love to Anyone by signing up for a monthly or yearly subscription, liking this post, or sharing it

Big heartfelt thanks to all of the subscribers and contributors who make this project possible!

1. Ojibwe/ Anishnaabemowin name translated to Antler River; aka as the Thames River